All fear inhibits freedom. If you are afraid of sounding stupid you can’t interact with people, if you’re afraid of flying you cannot travel fast, if you’re afraid of your government then you cannot feel in control and in my opinion, if you’re afraid of death you cannot enjoy life. I find that the more I work on getting rid of fears, the richer my everyday experience of life is.
The point is: Eliminate your fears and you’ll have more fun, and you’ll be more fun to be with.
So how does one eliminate a fear? Facing it is the only way. Luckily you can choose how much of it you want to face at one time. Choose an amount that you’re comfortable with. If you’re afraid of physical confrontation, don’t go start a fight at a bar just to face your fear – take a martial arts class. If you are afraid of heights, don’t go bungee jumping – stand on a chair. Work your way up the ladder. “Baby steps” is the key. Just make sure there is constant progress. You can slow the progress down or speed it up according to how comfortable you’re feeling, but never let it stop.
Some fears are healthy up to a certain degree, but harmful past that exact degree. One such example is the fear of failure. Failing at things you want to succeed at is never good, so a reasonable fear of failure is healthy. It keeps your ambition for success intact. However, if you fear failure so much that you stress holes in your stomach wall over it or miss out on life opportunities because of it, it is an unhealthy fear. The way to understand which amount is healthy is to study the failures of people you define as wildly success in the total tally.
For example, I study the failures of Fedor Emelianenko, because I understand MMA and Fedor is the most successful Mixed Martial Artist in the history of the sport.
How much does Fedor fear failure?
Enough to avoid fighting with a broken hand, unless the offer is very attractive.
Enough to advocate never accepting a fight one is not sure one will win.
Not enough to look worried while stepping into the ring.
Not enough to avoid risky techniques inside the ring.
Not enough to avoid staking his economical well-being on a fighting career.
The idea is that the most successful people in the world are the ones who find the perfect ambition level. The level that doesn’t burn you out, yet is fast enough to keep you excited and fascinated. I bet it varies from time to time, but it’s obvious that some people have discovered habits that will keep you in tune with its fluctuations. Otherwise, how do you explain a guy like Anderson Silva? Buakaw Pramuk? Marcelo Garcia? It is always fascinating to see someone who truly excels at something, no matter what it is.
Imagine the possibilities if the whole world learned these habits. This is why I believe the pursuit of excellence to be the highest goal there is in this world.
